We've had a tragedy

I know it's been a few days sense I posted last, I think I've given myself an unrealistic expectation of posting every day. Who has time for that, especially after you've suffered such a great tragedy that my family did this last weekend.
The T.V. broke, I know I know and before you panic rest assured we did get a new one, but not for THREE days!!!
Let me start by saying that T.V. is a big deal in our house. I never thought I would be one of those moms that turns the T.V. on all day every day for her kids because it keeps them quiet. I actually didn't realize I was one of those moms until this weekend.
Grant and I had big plans to rent a movie on Saturday night and have a mini date night at home after the kids went to bed. I was getting ready to head out to rent a movie, I was just about out the door when I head a sound much like a robot dying a horrible death. Bewwwwwww. . . . that's what the T.V. said when Grant tried to turn it on. So the obvious thing to do is turn it off and try again. I waited to leave to be sure that our precious was going to work before traipsing off at nine o'clock at night to rent a movie. Bewwwwww, that's what the T.V. says a second and then a third and a fourth time. At this point we realize that something is terribly wrong. It's never done this before and we're starting to panic. So Grant does what any man would do, he takes it apart. . .  the whole thing. Now this isn't just any T.V. I have often referred to it as "The Monster". It is a sixty inch projector type T.V. from the 90's. The first of it's kind and it's massive, not only the screen, but it's this giant 70 inch box that encases the screen and is at least 2 feet wide. We have converted the top into the holder of all things that we don't want to take to their home right now.

When he opens the monster up there is about 9000 inches of dust covering all of the components. I'm sure some of the accumulation is from our house, but we picked this thing up from a garage sale 2 years ago for $50. So not only does it have two years worth of our dust in it, but another 15 years of someone else's dust in there to. It's a mess, he declares that this is the problems. No worries he tells me, I have some air in a can, I'll dust this baby right out! At first I think OK great we'll be able to have our movie night after all. Then it dawns on me, he's going to blow all of this dust all over my house! I just vacuumed the carpets and even cleaned some walls this week. There's no talking him out of it now though, with the can of air in hand he pulls the trigger and a huge cloud of dust has now filled our entire living area and I'm pretty sure neither of us can breath.

Once the dust settles around the recently cleaned room he tells me to fire it up and see what happens. Bewwwww. . .  That's all the T.V. says and we know it's a goner. That doesn't stop him from trying to fix it for the next hour and a half until he is positive that it will never again be used for our personal enjoyment. So we decide to call it a night early and head to bed.
The next morning I'm up a little earlier then the rest of the family which is actually a rarity around our house because the kids are usually up at the butt crack of dawn. I'm sitting in the chair reading when Alaina comes downstairs first for her morning dose of cartoons. She goes to turn the T.V. on, Bewwwww, she looks to me confused like I have just played an evil trick on her. I explained to her that the T.V. was broken and that she would have to read a book or something quiet until her siblings got out of bed.

For 45 minutes she glared at me like I had just told her I was dying of cancer while I read my book waiting for our day to begin. Finally Olivia and Mason get up and both of them the 1 and 3 year old look very confused when they make their way to our living room. Olivia asks me turn on her shows and Mason brings me the controller as if to say "yes please turn on Olivia's shows", really all he does is grunt and make his noise for here. I then explain to them that the monster doesn't work and that we'll have breakfast and then they can play with their toys or watch a movie on the even older semi broken T.V. we have upstairs. (We don't have cable due to some budget cuts we made, we rely entirely on Netflix and Huluplus all played from the Xbox so there's no way to watch anything other than a movie they have seen 100 times on a T.V. that has to be turned up to an ungodly level to hear over the strange almost scary buzzing noise it makes as it heats up.
Needless to say they were MAD! By noon they had played with every toy in the entire house including the ones I keep put up for rainy days. They are now following me around proclaiming their boredom when I finally decide it's time to break out the big guns, play dough followed by painting and then we found something to glue.

Once we finished all of these projects at 12:15 they looked to me for something else, anything and I've got nothing. We've done all of the "arts and crafts" I can come up with and now I'm bored too. So we settle on board games for the rest of the afternoon and make dinner together as a cute little family with no T.V. should. Then it's time to read some stories and call it an early night, it's not like there's anything good on T.V. anyway.
The next day Grant gets up and heads out to purchase a new T.V. the kids and I were really excited. We picked a place that offers 120 same as cash because around the holidays money can get a little tight. We just finished over doing it once again for the kid's Christmas and we don't have a lot of extra money just laying around the house. Plus they had a killer package deal on a 46 inch LED flat panel T.V. with a blueray player and T.V. stand, a little smaller (ok a lot smaller than we're used to, but still a good size T.V.). Then I get the call, they won't allow you to bring your stuff home by yourself they must deliver and "install" it for you. I use the word install loosely because really all they do is drag this thing in with wet muddy feet, plug in a couple of cords and hand you the remote. That's not the problem though, the soonest day the can deliver is Tuesday between 10 and 12. So now the kids and I have to endure ANOTHER day without something to do! It's terrible and I've run completely out of ideas. None of my family members want to come over because we can't watch T.V. why would they? I don't even want to be here anymore. So we played, A LOT!!! By 4 o'clock in the afternoon I couldn't take another imaginary game so I told them they needed to get creative and play by themselves for a couple of hours while I read my book and got caught up on some laundry. So they fought, A LOT!!! By 7 o'clock it was time for bed, I couldn't take another cry or whimper or tattle about how someone has run into someone else, so bedtime comes early in our house.
The next day my darling sister in law takes the kids while I get the house ready for the delivery of our T.V. I need to move out The Monster and make room for the new T.V. The monster has served as not only a loyal entertaining friend, but a great barricade to keep Mason from the laundry room and computer area so I had to wait until the last minute to move this thing. As I'm getting ready to try and push it out of the way myself it dawns on me, this T.V. is to big to move by myself and I don't want to be alone when I see what has been living under it for two years so Grant comes and helps me move it to it's temporary resting place until we can rent a semi truck (or just find time and couple of friends to help us load it up and take it to the dump) to dispose of it.
I was very surprised that there wasn't more food or toys or whatever else might live under a T.V. just A LOT of dust. I got it all vacuumed just in the nick of time and they delivered our new television with no problems at all.

I anxiously pick the kids up, I can't wait for them to discover HD and flat pannel and LCD and whatever other wonderful things our other T.V. didn't offer because it was as old as a dinosaur. We get home and Alaina goes rushing in to meet the newest member of our family and says to me, "It's really tiny, I guess it will do though." so we all sit down to watch some Curious George and a half an hour later this is what happens . . .

Camping in the rain

When Alaina was four years old and I was seven months pregnant with Olivia we decided it would be a good idea to take an overnight camping trip to a lake about two and a half hours away from home. It was the first camping trip we took as a family because I hadn't been  brave enough to venture out into the wilderness with a small child. It still to this day does not sound like a very good idea.
Our trip was doomed from the beginning. I spent the week packing up everything we might possibly need, I probably packed enough stuff that if we had been lost we had exactly six months of supplies and clean clothes. That was plenty of time for someone to find us before we died. So the day of the camping trip arrived and we excitedly packed up the truck and loaded the canoe on top. I was determined to do a little fishing while we were out.

We got approximately twenty minutes from home when Grants dad called to wish us luck and happened to mention life jackets. Oh **** we forgot the life jackets. So we turned back around because we did not load up that dumb canoe and damage the truck in the mean while to not be able to actually use it.
We drive for the hour and forty five minutes to the bottom of the dirt road that leads up to the lake. We stop at the gas station to pick up a few we really didn't need because I packed everything imaginable, but this is the last chance to take advantage of civilization until we return from our trip in the morning.
We drive up the dirt road and get to the campground where we encounter our second problem. They want $18 for us to spend the night. We had planned on this, I was happy to pay these people until it dawned on me. I didn't bring any cash and in the wilderness they don't accept credit cards, or checks! So we dig threw my purse and Grants wallet. We search the ashtray of the truck and the floor boards and rummage threw the seats. Basically we tear the whole vehicle apart looking for enough money to camp at this campground. We felt pretty triumphant when we were able to find $17.64. We informed the lady at the booth that we had come up with an amount close to what she was asking for. We begged for her to have mercy on us. We were only .36 cents short of a great camping experience. She frowned at us and informed us that there was an ATM at the gas station at the bottom of the dirt road. We should be able to get the rest of the money from there.

So we drive back down the mountain to retrieve .36 cents from the gas station and head back up with our money in hand. We pay the lovely lady at the booth and go find our camping spot. We find this picturesque place with a fire pit and flat spot for our tent and declare that this is where our great camping experience will happen! We jump out of the truck and immediately begin setting up our tent. We figured if we got the tent set up and toss our sleeping gear in it we could head down to the lake and do some fishing before the day was over, because by the time we got there, there wasn't much day left. Just as we're finishing up our tent and getting ready to load it up with all of our gear it starts raining. I'm not talking about a little rain either, I'm talking about full on down pour and there wasn't a cloud in the sky. Well mommy to the rescue I packed enough garbage bags for our one night camping trip to successfully put all of our gear, sleeping bags, pillows, blankets, suitcases and food in and lug it over to the tent. As soon as we were finished with that the rain stopped. Annoying right? We go to all the trouble of keeping our things dry when all we needed to do was wait twenty minutes and it would have been no problem at all.
So we decide it's time to head to the lake, we back the truck down the dock and unload the canoe. I throw in my fishing pole and tackle box. I also toss in a box of Ritz crackers, squeezy cheese and some pickles so that Grant and Alaina have something to do while I slaughter the little fish. Neither of them are that into fishing. I get my life jacket on and then I get Alaina's life jacket on while Grant is doing the same for himself. We decide it's best that Alaina and I get in first and Grant will get in the back and get us set on course to the middle of the lake. If only we had made it that far.

The second Grant tried to step foot in the canoe it flipped over. I don't mean a little water splashed into the canoe I mean the whole thing went upside down in the water sending me and four year old little Alaina into lake. All of my fishing gear is now floating out to sea along with our Ritz crackers and squeezy cheese. The pickles sank as soon as they hit the water. My first instinct is to grab my pole and tackle box and then I remember I need to make sure my first born is ok first. So I glaced back really quickly as I'm diving to retrieve my precious gear. She was fine, the water was shallow as we hadn't even left the boat ramp.
Once everything was back in the canoe and Alaina and Grant were safely on the dock the real chaos began.

Alaina looked her father in the eyes and yelled at him "You can't ride in the boat any more, you're to big!!!" And Grant in his embarrassment yelled back at her "Well you can't play video games any more because you are to small!!!" At that very moment another boat motored over to make sure we were ok. I still wonder if it looked like we might actually need help or of they just wanted to get a closer look at the freak show that was taking place at the waters edge.
I was to embarrassed to stay at the lake any longer so I made Grant get the canoe loaded back up on top of the truck and we headed back to our campsite to get dry clothes on and make some dinner. We had hot dogs and roasted marshmallows. Both of which I hate, I'm still not sure why I packed them and my seven month pregnant self ended up eating beef jerky and Cheetos for dinner.
Finally it was time to lay down and go to bed, we rolled out our sleeping bags and pillows and all got snuggled in to the tent. I don't know who thought it was a great idea to not bring an air mattress. I guess when you haven't slept on the ground for a while you forget how hard and rocky it really is.

Some time during the night Alaina grabbed my pillow and declared it was to lumpy to sleep on the ground so she stuffed mine under her and drifted off to a peaceful sleep. I on the other had prayed for the night to end. I watched the moon drift every so slowly across the night sky and just hoped for either morning or death. Whatever one was going to come sooner. Finally at the crack of dawn I was able to leave the tent and start packing up our things. I was done, forget being like Pocahontas in my canoe, forget enjoying the fresh mountain air, forget spending time bonding with my family. I wanted to get the hell out of there and never go back! Guess what folks, we still have not taken another official camping trip as a family. We've had plenty of family vacations where we stay in hotels or other places with beds, running water and civilization, but we have never again stepped foot in a campground with the intent of removing anything from our vehicle let alone stay for more then a few minutes to let the kids pick some leaves from the trees in the fall.

Apparently I don't know the drill

So I've mentioned before that I help out in Alaina's class on a fairly regular basis. I look forward to it every week, I love helping the kids and being involved in her education. I hear and see so many funny things every time I go in there sometimes I think my head might explode. It's like being at my house times 22, it's really awesome!!!
I was in her class very recently when all of the sudden the principle comes on the intercom and announces that he is a kind person and wants to warn the kids and teachers that there will be a fire drill in the next fifteen minutes and because it is sub zero temperatures  outsides he wanted to let everyone know to have their coats on. What a nice thing for him to do, send all of these small children outside in the middle of the freezing winter to pretend that there is a fire in the building somewhere when clearly there is not. Oh and don't forget your coats, it seems a little silly to me. Don't get me wrong I do understand that they are required to practice these little drills on a monthly basis, but come on I don't want to walk outside with these kids I wear flip flops year round!

So before the teacher could even speak there were 22 kids running for the coat rack scrambling to get their coats and hats and gloves (although the principle did not specify these last two items, the 8 year olds deemed it necessary to bundle up like Ralphy from a Christmas Story). That's when I decided it might not be so bad to trudge outside in the freezing cold to see the udder chaos that is sure to ensue! If I think one class is funny imagine what 25 classes is going to look like!!!
While we are waiting for this obnoxious fire alarm to go off the teacher is making feeble attempts at getting all of these bundled up children to focus on their work, obviously she did not schedule in 45 minutes for a fire drill in today's agenda. I don't know why?
All of the sudden the fire alarm is screaming and the kids are jumping over desks and knocking down chairs to get in line behind the teacher at the door. I decide I will follow up the rear. I don't want to chance missing anything! So we quickly walk to the nearest exit from the building and proceed to the back of the school where everyone is supposed to meet.
I didn't notice it right away I just followed quietly behind waiting for something hilarious to happen but it didn't. So I asked one of Alaina's classmates where we were supposed to stand and I was met with glaring eyes from not only the kids in Alaina's class, but the entire second grade, and I swear every single one of them SHHHHHH'ed me! It was like something from the Twilight Zone, there had to have been 900 kids standing in a field all in perfect lines, with the front person holding up a green paper stating "all students are accounted for" and it was SILENT! I mean there wasn't a single sound out there even the birds stopped chirping.

I remember when we had fire drills in elementary school it was like an extra recess. We'd meet up with all of our friends, our teachers would scramble frantically to figure out if they had left any of their students in the burning building. We would make grass nests to sit in because we knew if we spread out it would be a while before we were forced to go back into the school and resume our studies. It was a nut house and I LOVED IT!!!

Once the principle saw that all students in all lines had been accounted for and that no child had been left to an early fiery grave he spoke into his megaphone and informed all of the children they had done a great job and were released to head back to their classrooms.
I decided to investigate and walked back to the building with the teacher so I could ask why that was the most organized fire drill there ever was on the whole face of this planet for all time and eternity. Apparently when our principle came to this school last year the first fire drill he ever conducted was interesting. They repeated the fire drill several times that day, right in a row. He sent all of the kids back into the burning building because they weren't quiet enough. I guess it was enough to scare every one of those kids into doing EXACTLY as they were told. Maybe not because the principle told them to do it, but because who wants to be the kid that makes the rest of the school redo something. I don't want to be the kid the rest of the whole school hates. It's a really good thing that I know the drill now so that I'm prepared for next time!

And as for the principle, he gets a gold star! I think I could learn a thing or two from that guy!!

Christmas and all things magical

Alaina recently found out that Santa does not exist nor do any of the other mythical creatures we as parents make up to find an excuse to spoil our kids rotten a few different times a year. She found out a couple of months ago and it went a lot better then I thought it would.
I help out in her second grade classroom two or three times a week and on one particular day I was seated in the back of the room with a group of five kids including Alaina helping them with their math work. When all of the sudden Alaina blurts out to me "Mom Andrew told me that you take my teeth while I'm sleeping and leave money under my pillow and just throw my teeth away". She didn't whisper this in my ear and was in no way discrete about her questioning. At that very exact moment the classroom went completely silent and I had twenty two appalled eight year olds staring at me because I had the nerve to throw Alaina's teeth away before the tooth fairy had the chance to get to them!

And they were waiting for my answer. Of course her teacher who is normally so on top of these kids (this last sentence is for her in case she ever comes across this blog and recognizes our pictures) is completely oblivious that I am having a crisis in her classroom and if she doesn't do something quick this might happen. .

 They will threaten to mutilate me with whatever form of classroom supply is handy. One will poke my eyes out with pencils while another cuts off all of my hair and eyelashes, hopefully the kid with the scissors isn't one of those kids who is in second grade and still can't properly use a pair of scissors and always cuts outside the lines, I was one of those. While another gives me vicious paper cuts and one rubs Elmer's glue all over and sticks sharp staples to my skin.
So in an effort to keep the classroom from going completely nuts I whisper to Alaina we will talk at home and pretend that I didn't even hear the question. After what felt like an eternity the teacher finally started instructing the kids and I figured I was pretty much free from any terrible classroom mishaps for the day.
When I picked Alaina up from school at the end of the day she asked me again if what Andrew had told her was true. I asked her if she was really ready to hear the truth, because once you know the truth you can never believe anything different. She told me she was ready to handle it so I informed her that he was correct. I do sneak in her room at night and leave money under her pillow. That is when I remember and don't fall asleep before I've done this. There have been more then a few occasions where Alaina has woken up to a nasty little tooth still under her pillow. Thank goodness the tooth fairy always found a way sneak in during the day in broad daylight and never actually be seen. For a minute she just thought about it and then asked me why I would do something like that. I wasn't sure how to answer, thank goodness she's never short on words because her next comment was "So the tooth fairy isn't real then is she?". I told her no and she argued with me for a few minutes about if this is the case how could all of the other parents in the whole world know about this LIE. I emphasis the word lie because in her head I have been lying to her her entire life and am now a terrible person who leaves MONEY under her pillow for her gross little teeth!

Because what she is imagining is so much more realistic and possible!


When we arrive home she goes inside to ponder this new knowledge. When I walked in the door a few seconds later a teary eyed Alaina asks me if Christmas is the same way. Again I told her yes and again she argued with me about it, "you can't afford to buy all of those presents for me and Olivia and Mason" she says to me. I then explained that her father and I try to save money all year so that they can have a nice Christmas. She looked like she was going to become enraged at the very thought of us lying to her about such a wonderful magical thing and then she surprised me. "Thank you! That is the nicest thing anyone has ever done for me. I can't believe you would do that for us!"

This one went down in my victory log. I was beaming, to think my darling little girl just thanked me for a huge sacrifice we make for our kids every year. This is the pay off a parent waits their whole life for, some are never lucky enough to receive this huge gift from their children and I just received mine early. I should have known it wouldn't last long. . .

"I always knew you were a liar though. I've always known the Easter bunny wasn't real!"

I never thought I'd EVER say this #1

Olivia was just recently diagnosed with a UTI. I first learned about her symptoms on a Wednesday. She complained that her pee pee hurt. Pee pee is code for Olivia's privates, well, you can probably figure out why that's what we call it. I figured she was just a normal three year old with bad bathroom hygiene, she's just learning how to take care of business by herself. No matter how diligent Grant and I try to be she still sneaks off to go to the bathroom at least three times a day completely by herself and she probably doesn't do more then just throw clean toilet paper into the toilet without it ever actually touching her bottom. This is a common complaint at our house and when I hear it I just throw her in the bath and let her get cleaned up a little. It almost always does the trick. This particular Wednesday though it didn't. So that night I put some rash cream on her bottom and hoped that our problems would be all better by morning. Guess what, they were! For almost the whole day Thursday there was no complaint and I marked this down in my mom's victory log.

You have to keep a victory log because with the number of parenting fails I experience on a day to day basis I need a little reminder that I am totally awesome sometimes!
By the end of the night on Thursday though she was complaining again, so we did the normal routine and went to bed. On Friday morning she waited a really long time to go to the bathroom. Now for me that's the first thing I do in the morning. I can't hold it after sleeping the whole 5 hours I've dedicated to sleep. She waited though, we had breakfast, we took Alaina to school an hour and half after we got up that morning. We even had our morning snack. So finally I decided to tell her we had to go into the bathroom and go potty. It wasn't a choice any more and I did not want to clean urine off of the carpets again. That's right I said again, it's a regular occurrence while potty training and little boys are programed to urinate the minute the diaper is removed. So I went into the bathroom with her and this is what happened. . .

She's jumped off of the toilet mid pee because it hurt to bad to stay seated while she went potty. She peed all over the toilet seat, all down her leg and all over the floor in my CARPETED bathroom. It was really quit heartbreaking. So I call the doctors office and make an appointment because at this point I know there is something wrong and requires an actual doctors opinion, not just my own. So we get there and we waited for almost two hours while we all tried to convince Olivia to go to the bathroom again so they could get a urine sample. Keep in mind she has only gone once today and it's 2 o'clock in the afternoon. We fed her eight cups of water and finally she was no longer able to hold it she HAD to go. During those two hours at the doctors office though I fished out three cups, intended for catching her urine, out of the public toilet at the pediatricians office!!! It was almost as bad as letting her play on the floor in the waiting room. That's another story all on it's own though. So we get this sample from her and the immediate results come back negative. So we have to wait until the lab results come back in to determine where to go from here. I get the standard doctor reply, "Give her some Tylenol and warm baths and we'll call you as soon as we hear back from the lab". Now don't forget it is now 4 o'clock on a Friday afternoon. This means that I get to spend an entire weekend cleaning up urine from the sides of the toilet and the floor in my CARPETED bathroom, awesome!!! So we go home and after eight cups of water little Olivia needs to go to the bathroom again, but I can't get her to go on the toilet. So I come up with this brilliant idea to let her go pee in the shower. It's fool proof, she can squirm around all she wants while she goes, the water should be soothing and all I have to do is throw a little Comet in there when she's done to make sure I don't stand in her pee next time I get a chance to take a shower, GENIUS!!!
So for the next two days this is where my little angle goes potty. It worked out great and she was really really clean. I should have known things were going to well. None of my plans, not one of them, ever work out like I think they will. I left her in there, alone, for about five minutes on Sunday morning. That is all, five minutes. No big deal I went to make the baby a bottle. When I came back this is what I found. . .

That's right she pooped in the shower. It should have dawned on me that because she has only going to the bathroom in the shower that she has not pooped for four days, and now she has gone in the shower and is trying to stomp it down the drain before I could come back and find out what she has done. Like I wasn't going to notice the poop prints on the shower floor and the poop on the bottom of both feet and the poop that is now stuck in the little tiny holes of the thing I once called a shower drain. She has completely defiled my shower and the only thing I could think to say, was "We don't poop in the shower"! I never thought in my entire life I would have to tell this to someone. As far as I'm concerned it was common sense, but then again when your parents have given you permission to pee on or in anything besides the toilet it only makes sense that's what you would do.
You'll be glad to hear though that sense then we have gotten medicine for her and she is on her way to a full recovery! She is also now using the toilet again in the way it was intended to be used by a three year old. I can't wait to share this precious little gem of a story with her kids when she has them someday!!!

The truth according to Olivia

Olivia is a sweet little three year old. She's always been my "good" child. She listens and trusts and believes everything I tell her. If I don't want her to do something she doesn't usually do it. If I ask her to do something she almost always does. Life has been good up until this point! She's starting to think for some reason she has her own opinions about things and it's starting to drive me crazy! I know it's a normal part of development, but if I ever find the guy who told her she didn't have to think exactly like me I'll have him hanged!! It started out with little things like what she wanted to eat for dinner. Just FYI dinner is what we call every snack or meal she can't be bothered with technical terms for all meals so they are all dinner.

Yes I do realize that Olivia is wearing no clothing in this picture she has also decided that clothes are not necessary if she doesn't want to wear them.
This is innocent enough and I think I am being completely reasonable when I offer her a bowl of cereal for breakfast. It used to be that she would eat her "dinner" with no questions asked. I would also like you to keep in mind that she has eaten this same type of cereal happily for the past three years.

And when I tell her noodles are not what we eat for breakfast this is what happens

 This is how we start almost every morning and I'm pretty sure the little girl is going to waist away to nothing, because she really will stay under that table and cry all day long if I let her. She is relentless and don't tell her this, but I think she could probably win every battle of the wills if it weren't for the fact she is my second child and I have some experience in bribery and distraction!

The other thing Olivia does that drives me absolutely nuts is cry! She cries A LOT!!!! I can't express this enough she will cry about the dumbest things you've ever heard of and usually it's with such conviction you think that someone is kicking a kitten in the next room. Just the other day she was playing in the playroom with her brother and sister. There was no fighting going on because I was just in the next room folding laundry. Next thing I know Olivia is running out of the room to find me full on crying. Tears streaming down her face, snot flying everywhere and slobber dripping from the corners of her mouth. It was an all to familiar sight.

"Mom, Alaina is hitting me and Mason threw a toy at me!" Now I know that this is usually untrue. In Olivia's head it is so accurate that if she knew what it was she would be willing to take a lie detector test to prove that she is telling the truth. I try to let her know it's ok to feel bad if Alaina who in previous posts has been known to pay very little attention to whats going on around her and she probably bumped into Olivia which was perceived by Olivia as a violent act against her. As for Mason, he's one, he flings toys around and acts wild. He doesn't actually do it with the intent of harming his big sister, she just happens to be in the way when he's ready to move on to the next thing. Don't tell this to Olivia because this is what she sees.

This is not an accurate account and I will not bore you with a picture of Alaina and Mason playing alone in the playroom while Olivia fantasies about all of the evil plots her eight and one year old siblings are coming up with. I'm pretty sure she thinks they have it in for her.
I'm sure that eventually she will outgrow this stage of her life. At least I hope she will, if she's doesn't she will need extensive therapy as an adult! She's still my little sweetie no matter how rotten she becomes over the next few years. Once we're out of this phase it's onto the next! Hopefully something a little quieter and less independent is on it's way in our future!!!

Lanie Land

Alaina is the cutest little eight year old you will ever meet. I say that firstly because I'm her mom and it's my duty to feel this way and second because she is the most creative imaginative kid I've ever met in my entire life. She comes up with the most out of this world ideas I've ever heard of. I'm sure that some day she will grow up to be some sort of creative director for major motion pictures specializing in fantasy and fiction. I'll let you know in another 20 years or so, but I'm pretty sure. Although I love her creativeness it has it downside too. It's not all glitz and glam when you're dealing with an eight year old who has an over active imagination and can't turn it off when it's necessary. When my husband and I can't get her attention to save our lives we just assume she's taken a trip to Lanie Land. This is what I picture Lanie Land to look like. . .

Yes that unicorn is pooping a rainbow because that's what unicorns do. There is also Alaina's castle in the background and in this picture only one of her two servants are shown. Her little sister Olivia who would follow Alaina to the ends of the earth and back. I don't think Olivia has ever been to Lanie Land in real life, but I'm pretty sure she's felt the effect of Alaina visiting because usually while she's there this is what's happening in the real world. . .

Alaina is dancing around the front room taking care of her pet unicron and seeing to the very important business of running an entire land all by herself and she has managed to knock her brother to the floor and is now in some way shape or form standing on part of her sister. It never ends well!
Usually the only way to bring Alaina back from her trip early is to threaten her with something like time out or no dessert for the night. These two simple words are enough to transport her back to the real world. It's to bad I can't use them when I see her drifting away because by the time it's appropriate to threaten her with such things it's to late and I've got two crying kids and one who just showed up to the party.
Although I love her dearly and I'm sure I'll miss the days when she was innocent enough to leave behind the stresses of day to day life and make things a little more enjoyable, I look forward to the day when she doesn't sneak away to her private little land and leave a wake of complete destruction her path.